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Friday, January 11, 2013

Rise Of The Nork Zombies

Fear of the Yotta Virus has driven scores of Seoulites to Teheranno, where e-plastic surgeons work night and day to remove brain enhancing implants that just weeks ago were still all the rage.

Now rage can best describe the carnage caused by the unlucky "Upgraded" people who got infected. Yesterday again, across a capital under siege, hordes of "PC Bang Vampires" went on "boot-them-all" rampages, while Bluetooth-enabled "Noraebang Heubyeolgui" spread around North Korean propaganda songs, milder mutations of the virus resulting in less lethal K-pop hybrids. Since all fingers point to Pyongyang for the cyber-attack, local media have coined the more generic term "Nork Zombies" for the phenomenon.

Ahn Cheol-soo accepted to head the antivirus effort, after confirming that he was one of the last implant-free decision makers in South Korea. The founder of AhnLab said it was not only about security, but also about the integrity of his hairdo, even if last generation implants are much more discreet than the bulky “Frankenstein Android” or “Head Top iBrain” gizmos introduced at the Consumer Electronics Show 2014.

Kim Jong-un was last seen in public with a suspicious swelling on his neck. If some pundits speculated that he just wanted to perfect the resemblance with his grandfather by growing a goiter, most observers suspected a 2G implant, probably from Russian technology. The question is: does it have the capacity to reach the Cloud?

Stephane MOT – Agence Fausse Presse 2013

Seoul Village 2013
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