4th exclusive interview with KIM Jong-un - Chollyu time!

Even if eight years have passed since our last meeting*, the Beer Leader remembers me all right, almost choking me with a long, nicotine-laden bear hug. His daughter KIM Ju-ae opts for a quick high-five before returning to her smartphone - probably posting ahout the event on KCNA's latest app Instagrim.

KIM Jong-un: "Welcome back to my lair! See how my beloved daughter, the Morning Star of Korea, has grown into a perfect heir? You know she's already become a Missile General Director? Well from day one I've trained her so well.... she executed her first traitors before she could even walk."

Seoul Village: "How cute... a chip off the old block indeed. Your dynasty's 4G is enjoying a great coverage from your propaganda machine, but I can't see KIM Yo-jong today, and she's always photobombing our interviews from the background... Is she jealous because her niece got the leather jacket she always dreamed of?"

KJU: "Ju-ae wouldn't fit, fat chance.... No, Yo-jong's mission is over: we had to get our people used to a potential leading female figure from the divine bloodline, the time for 4G to grow out of her diapers."

Birds of a leather rule together - KIM 4G with her high fructose sugar daddy

SV: "Ever the gentleman... I also noted how you're trying to counter illegal Hallyu content by developing series shot in a more Hollywood fashion."

KJU: "Yup. We call that Chollyu. We produced very popular series, like 'Camp 14', which I'm sure inspired Squid Game. You know, our whole nation is a big survival game. BTS is also drawing huge crowds here."

SV: "BTS?!?"

KJU: "Yeah. 'Behind The Scenes' is a reality show devoted to torture techniques. Our domestic audiences are literally hooked to it."

SV: "You've also been exporting such niceties as cannon fodder to Russia or missile technologies to Iran."

KJU: "Among others, got that right. And business has been booming even more since the US have embraced the dark side of the force."

SV: "Wow wow, not so fast, the Midterms might put the brakes on your friend Donnie." 

KJU: "Yes, Donald is on the right track, except of course when he's unfairly competing with us. By the way did you see how his dynasty's raking in cryptocurrencies? And they're not even hiding behind hackers and aliases when they demand bribes or ransom or anything. But Trump is not the guy in charge of America. Pete will make sure November will come out just fine."

SV: "Pete? Not Vlad?"

KJU: "Putin showed the way, Thiel perfected it. With this guy, Trump won't even need redistricting. They've got all the data they want on every single citizen, they know what they're thinking because they shape it. Actually I asked him to upgrade our rusty software - can you believe we're still running on Kimchi Analytica 1.0?".  

SV: "So no need for another Trump-Kim summit then?"

KJU: "Not officially. Of course Donald will visit, but essentially on a benchmark tour of our regime: for his ICE facilities naturally, but also for his ballroom, his military parades, his monuments, his dynastic trickle-down economics, and of course his cult of personality..Trump is tired of the French model - doesn't feel personal enough. I was touched by his Trump pin initiative, a nice tribute to our tradition. I also loved his giant portrait on the Department of Justice HQ, a perfect symbol of the abolition of the separation of powers, but Don wants something more long-lasting than a banner."

'#TrumpPresidentialLibrary obviously designed to host a #NorthKorea plenum. #Trump #architecture' (20260331 - @theseoulvillage)

'#MAGA goes #KCNA:' (20250804 - @theseoulvillage)

 

'OMG #KarolineLeavitt is actually going full #RiChunhee!!!' (20260108 - @theseoulvillage)

 SV: "No summit with South Korea either?" 

KJU: "I don't need puppets down South anymore, now that I've got the perfect love triangle around me. When Trump pulls out the troops, Vlad and Jinping will maintain some Mexican standoff. Could get trickier when Putin kicks the bucket though. Russian mobster succession wars can get messy." 

SV: "You're distancing yourself from South Korea at the very moment a good friend rules supreme. LEE Jae-myung sent you money, legalized your propaganda, his unification minister leaked essential intel from the States... and you're still snubbing him?"

KJU: "The more I wait, the more he'll send my way. Besides, he's also busy with his own takeover of justice. Plus I have tests to run and he doesn't like that."

SV: "Nukes?"

KJU: "Our pyrotechnics shows will depend on which part of our catalogue our clients are interested it. It won't be as spectacular, but I'm also developing a lovely new weapon with Pete, Elon, and Vlad: swarms of nano drones. We all need them for our core surveillance and spying activities, but also for surgical removal of political opponents. Much more efficient and discreet than VX or Novichok."

SV: "Are Thiel and Musk also considering this kind of applications?"

KJU: "Which verses of Project 2025 and Dark Enlightenment did you skip?" 

Seoul Village 2026
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* see previous episodes: "Exclusive interview with KIM Jong-un" , "EXCLUSIVE-Second interview with KIM Jong-un", "Exclusive interview with KIM Jong-un - Season III"- Agence Fausse Presse.

Seoul Village Season XIX

At long last, Korea's miserable month of December 2024 is over. You'd think it'd be hard to top two presidential impeachments sandwiched between two major disasters (YOON Suk-yeol's short-lived martial law and Jeju Air's tragic plane crash), but 2025 doesn't bode very well either for a nation on the ropes. 

Whoever is the next president will have a hard time rebuilding hope and trust at home as well as overseas, provided that's on their menu.

In the short term, acting president CHOI Sang-mok is unlikely to achieve anything significant and until the elections at least, the opposition is unlikely to contribute to reviving an anemic economy it's been undermining for years. As for the long term. this Dark December most probably annihilated that recent, timid demographic uptick (belated COVID rebound?) as radically as those politically motivated budget cuts sacrificing Korea's future growth engines (goodbye innovation and quantum computing).

Korea's competitive edge and survival are also at risk with the return of Trump to the White House.

In the 1991 blockbuster Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Arnold Schwarzenegger returned as a force of good in total contrast with a first opus where he pretty much destroyed everything. But that's fiction and in Trump's T2, The Donald is unlikely to fundamentally change characters. Actually, DJT already hired 'Dark MAGA' Elon Musk for the role of Robert Patrick: T-!000, a fitter, slicker, updated version of the bulletproof killing machine programmed to help Skynet / Space X control the World. Anyway, doomsday scenario or not, this sequel promises to be less boring than Kamala Harris' short-lived B2: Statu Quo.

Both sides of the DMZ are watching closely.

KIM Jong-un knows he can't trust Trump, and he's already busy with another transactional buddy, Vladimir Putin. With his 'Juche Line' and 'Sunshine Line' in tatters, KIM somehow balances the 'Beijing Line' with a 'Kremlin Line' that provides oil, currencies, and statesman credentials against disposables (weapons and cannon fodder). 

Whoever is in charge in Seoul, lines will change and the US military presence of South Korea will be reevaluated by a man who already proved he could betray and abandon brothers in arms (ask the Kurds and Afghans if they believe one second Trump's commitment to Koreans is ironclad). We know Trump wants to withdraw, and that Mike Pompeo advised him (as Mark Esper revealed) to delay such a risky move to his second term. We know that this time he'll be surrounded by incompetent yes-men in the White House and in a greater section of Congress. We also know that Marco Rubio wouldn't be okay with abandoning Asia to China, but that he won't be calling the shots...

Should LEE Jae-myeong become the next president, he could even accelerate the withdrawal process. And he certainly wouldn't compensate with a NATO style alliance with Japan and Taiwan, like the one floated here and there as a second Trump mandate looked inevitable.

But LEE himself is a very transactional guy, and he could sing Trump a different kind of serenade than the one YOON sang to Biden. 

Besides, Korea Inc have more than a few chips on the table. Samsung, SK Hynix and Co. also fear another kind of withdrawal: the subsidies guaranteed under Joe Bden's CHIPS act. CHEY Tae-won already warned SK might reconsider its massive investment in Indiana, where both senators are Republicans... like in Texas, where Samsung extends its Austin plant and builds a new one in Taylor...

At worst very conflictual, at best very transactional, this year of the blue snake looks pretty sneaky. 

Nonetheless, let's wish ourselves a happy new year 2025.

"#Trump returns. To #KyoboBookstore, #Seoul:" (20241129 post by Seoul Village on Bluesky)

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Asymetric War (Laissez-)Faire - Crouching Doves, Hidden Hawks

Hard to get some attention in 2022. North Korea's testing frenzy (over 40 missile launches so far) eventually paid off, but with another dictator with a bigger button, an itchy finger, and an actual, ultra violent war raging, KIM Jong-un and the KCNA had to beef up their storytelling.

Look what you've done

So as Putin shot missiles all over Ukraine in retaliation for the incident on his controversial bridge to Crimea, KIM had to mansplain that his recent shots were a simulation of tactical nuclear strikes, and a rehearsal for the wiping out of key infrastructures across South Korea. If no mock up Blue Houses were harmed during the shooting, that was clearly a few notches higher than the usual reactions to joint KOR-US drills, or VIP visits (VP Kamala Harris the other day).

Furthermore, the DPRK demonstrated yet new levels of readiness and stealth, making South Korea's failed test even more embarrassing. YOON Suk-yeol can say the neighbors upstairs have 'nothing to gain from nuclear weapons', calls for nuclear deterrence South of the DMZ keep getting louder.

There's always Uncle Sam's 'ironclad' support, and including on the ground, at a time when Joe Biden can't set foot in Ukraine, or even say what he wants about Taiwan. Besides, hawks are getting a little more subtle across the East Sea, and coordination becomes possible (though whatever LEE Jae-myung may say, the ROK is not heading for a 'pro-Japan defense'). Fumio Kishida and friends even received some help from Kyiv, where Zelenskyy declared that the Kuril Islands belonged to Japan, not Russia...

All eyes should be on a key player: after circumnavigating unusual unrest at home, and Putin's most urgent demands overseas, XI Jinping is about to become more officially ruler for life (at the XXth Congress of the Chinese Communist Party).

(Seoul Village on Facebook - 20221001) "China's 'Panda Diplomacy' in 2022 according to 阿塗 (IG @ah_to_hk). With North Korea supporting Russia's massacres in Ukraine, South Korea (NB Yoon?!?) composing with Xi Jinping Imperator, Japan restoring Imperial Japan, the mighty USA eagle a distant observer, one feather brushing Taiwan... Among countless details, China's Pandamic SNAFUs, its support of autocrat neighbors, South China Sea's floating borders, a few birds that managed to escaped post-democracy Hong Kong, or those powerless doves (EU / OZ / UK / CAN) in the corner..."

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KIM Yo-jong Crash Landing On You

Within a couple of weeks and with considerable help from the South Korean government, KIM Yo-jong pretty much effortlessly achieved her goals: claiming head of state level, beefing up her military credentials, boosting campaigns against defectors on both sides of the DMZ, paving the way for a conversation with China...

Well that escalated quickly, but without really escalating that badly. Just follow @theSeoulVillage Twitter timeline:

1) KIM Yo-jong's first and decisive victory came within hours, and probably as a surprise to herself: shortly after she asked South Korea to outlaw counter-propaganda leaflets from defectors, Cheong Wa Dae obeyed, and a new law did just that. Regardless of what you think of these leaflets, in a democracy, the executive and the legislative powers simply don't give in that quickly to someone who is not even the head of a dictatorship. Worse, this came as a betrayal to defectors, who got vilified on both sides of the DMZ, ruining overnight decades of efforts to help them overcome discrimination. The move, condemned by Human Rights Watch, echoed last year's appalling surrender of two defectors to North Korean authorities, against all normal procedures.

"MOON Jae-in gives in again. Obeys KIM Yo-jong and bans leaflets..." (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1268448381019418624)

"A few hours. All it took for the ruling party to come up with a law pleasing #KimYojong. Laws against #discrimination or stalkers? Not a priority. #NorthKorea first it seems" (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1268692368888225792)

2) In the days that followed, North Korea said they would sever the communications with the South, and refused to answer any call. By anything but a coincidence, and as the DPRK staged demonstrations against defectors, Seoul decided out of the blue (house) to slash their reallocation budgets, effectively stabbing defectors in the back once more:

"Open season for #NorthKorea #defectors, continued: after obeying #KimYojong, #MoonJaein govt keeps destroying decades of work to help them overcome #discrimination in #SouthKorea" (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1271465125011009538) - Jeongmin Kim @jeongminnkim · Jun 12 - South Korea will cut this year’s budget for North Korean defector resettlement in the South, Seoul’s unification ministry confirmed

 

3) Why stop when you're on a roll and everybody's playing your game? The very same day, KIM Yo-jong rewards this new zealous good deed from MOON Jae-in by upping the ante, and to announce that she will 'exercise (her) power authorized by the Supreme Leader':

"#SaturdayNightFever (Will #KimYojong's latest demand/threat pay off as well as the last one?) (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1271796329316925442)
Laura Bicker @BBCLBicker · Jun 13 North Korea’s Kim Yo Jong tonight. “We will soon take a next action. By exercising my power authorized by the Supreme Leader, our Party and the state, I gave an instruction to the arms of the department in charge of the affairs with enemy to decisively carry out the next action”

"From Photobomb Queen to Bomb Queen, #KimYojong definitely cementing her badass 😎  profile. Note how Kim The Fourth put Military First (and next) in her pocket. Already calling the shots while Bro #KimJongun downs them?"  (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1271988923904876545)

4) From then on, we knew that she had to walk the talk, and to do very soon something miliary-ish. Something destructive. Something more spectacular than blowing up Punggye-ri's shack outhouse, but something less lethal and war-like than the Yeongpyeong Shelling or the Cheonan Sinking. Something that would reach over the MDL to hit South Korea:

"There's no defusing, #NorthKorea must strike, and that will cement #KimYojong's credentials as Kim The Fourth. The question is less when (soon) than how." (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1272684122629042176)
"#DPRK must somehow destroy something, but it should be, on Paekdu Richter's scale, more significant than blowing up #Punggyeri shack outhouse, but less lethal than #Yeonpyeong Shelling or #Cheonan Sinking. Across the #DMZ anyway... #baekduology" (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1272684124411580416)
"That, of course, with #NorthKorea's ongoing #hacking campaigns..." ((@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1272684764097462272)

4)  As many predicted, KIM Yo-jong ended up blowing up Kaesong's inter-korean liaison office. No DML crossing, but you could at least see something from the other side. The greyish images from the South failed to make this underwhelming event more impressive. Basically, the North shoots itself in the foot to destroy the shoes offered by the South.... Kim The Fourth? More Baby Shark than Jaws.

"A minima disruption: #NorthKorea eventually blew up the Inter-#Korea liaison office minutes before stock exchange closing. Disappointingly predictable." (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1272788161467265024)

"Didn't even cross the #MDL" (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1272844777910726662)

"So for her maiden strike, #KimYojong scored rather low (scare-wise, less Jaws, more #BabyShark-doo-doo-doo). Embarrassing, but #SouthKorea's 'retaliation' is simply laughable: cut the electricity of the just blown up liaison office!" (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1272852891741483014)

5) The next day, North Korea released their own colorful images, more firework-like, with splinters and debris flying everywhere, damaging nearby buildings. Of course the aim was not to neatly demolish a nondescript low rise building, but to simulate a military attack on a Southern landmark. Barely more impressive than blowing up mock-ups of the Blue House, but from a propaganda point of view, mission accomplished for (future?) Marshalll KIM Yo-jong.

"When #NorthKorea blows up something, sparks have to fly. For the #Kaesong inter-#Korea liaison office, debris flew in every direction, probably causing unnecessary damage. But what counts is the photo op, to help Photobomb Queen #KimYojong become Bomb Queen Kim The Fourth:" (@theSeoulVillage - 20200617)

So basically KIM Yo-jong succeeded beyond her expectations thanks to very complacent partners down South. Unification Minister KIM Yeon-chul resigned, and the two names advanced to succeed him used to be activists in favor of reunification under North Korean rule... doesn't look as if the KIM Dynasty should fear much on that front.

Of course, this is not about North vs South. The KIMs don't expect much from there, and want progress elsewhere. The US? They will put more pressure on Donald TRUMP, but closer to November in order to get the best deal / quid-pro-quo against an October Surprise. Depending on the fallout of John BOLTON bombs, opportunities may rise in the short term. What they seem to be needing urgently is support at home and from China.

As THAE Yong-ho noted, North Korea often bullies South Korea in order to get the US involved, and ultimately China called to the rescue. And nowadays, the situation doesn't seem that rosy inside the hermit kingdom, where coronavirus could well be raging. NK News mentioned embassies abroad trying to collect PPEs and other medical resources. Defectors say support seems to be eroding in Pyeongyang, and the lower middle class took a big hit when scores of pigs where culled (unlike cows, they are private properties).

The focus on defectors struck me as telling of a truly dire situation. Yes the regime needs scapegoats to divert from its failures, but acknowledging the importance of people who fled it clearly feeds THAE Yong-ho's growing aura in the North. That's a risk, but punishing those who spread news of him anywhere (North or South) has obviously become a matter of survival.

"#NorthKorea #propaganda focusing on #defectors, giving them extra visibility. Regime taking all sorts of risks on non-state scapegoats during #pandemic: popularity of #Thaeyongho & co is a systemic risk for them. The message: no mercy for 'traitors' who watch defector materials"  (@theSeoulVillage - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1270526531111014400)

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A small step for CVID, a giant leap for Trump's ego... and North Korea's propaganda

ICYMI, from Kim-Xi to Kim-Trump-Moon, one week without crossing red lines.
=> Watch as a Twitter moment ('DMZero Progress')

'Strategic patience 2.0: Kim Jong-un tells Xi Jinping he'll be patient with Trump..." (20190622 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1142215634140319744)

'Kim Jong-un post-summit blues: "ain't no Sunshine when Xi's gone" (20190622 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1142248145620877317)

'P.S. I love you. Donald' (20190623 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1142641073040195585)

'Will Trump visit the DMZ next week? Will he meet his pen friend Kim Jong-un?' (20190623 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1142703275046686720)

'Exclusive - what Donald Trump wrote to Kim Jong-un' (20190624 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1142965266717896705)

'So we've got the answer to the first question: Trump will visit the DMZ. For the second one (Trump Kim Summit III?): Kim Jong-un's mention of DJT's 'courage' after reading his (RSVP?) letter could be a clue...' (20190624 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1143105424679288832)

'Unsurprisingly, Trump tweeted that he'd like to shake hands with Kim Jong-un at DMZ.... Expect a Moon Jae-in moment when both walk for a second on the North Korea side.' (20190629 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1144750060900458498)
'We should call them #TrumKimHandshakes, not #TrumpKimSummit. #AllFoamNoBeer' (20190629 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1144751209028304902)

'Trump strategy at the DMZ:
1 shake hands with Kim Jong-un
2 say hello
3 chat about the weather and my beautiful tweets
4 step on the other side of the MDL
5 photo ops
6 zero progress, #NorthKorea #winning

#ArtOfTheDealapidation' (20190629 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1144897818596802560)

'Watch out, Jared! Here's Harvanka - @USAmbROK' Ivanka Trump - Harry Harris (20190629 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1144977385483206658)

'Please, don't forget to wash after your courageous VX handshake!' (20190629 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1144903631012954112)

'Trump: Obama was begging to meet Kim Jong-un. In his dreams. Trump Kim Summit' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145185275355648000)

'#MoonJaein qualifies the dismantling of #Yongbyon #nuclear facility as the beginning of 'Irreversible' (#Denuclearization). But it wouldn't add a C or an actual I to #cvid' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145187518565908480)

'To the journos at #CheongWadae: does #Trump's US to Korean translator wear a #MAGA hat? Sure sounds like she does.' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145189650459267072)

'Choppers heading north... Trump Kim Summit' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145194984145952768)

'Shortly after 5~6 choppers left from downtown (above), at least 4 flew from #Yongsan. #MoonJaein joined the #DMZ ahead of #Trump for #TrumpKimSummit' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145198820831055872)

'The spaghetti western moment when #Trump & #KimJongun will walk to the demarcation line...' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145209158855090176)

'Trump realizes how close to the DMZ Seoul is...' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145209680873922562)

'Trump receives a golf gift. Not something to club Kim Jong-un to death with, mercifully.' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145216611495710720)

'Trump abducted' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145222479708745728)

'Kim Jong-un interviewed on the other side' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145222973885837313)

'We'll invite him right now to the White House' - Trump about Kim Jong-un (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145223457237434368)

'#YTN caught the threesome #MoonJaein #KimJongun #DonaldTrump' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145224179630764032)

'#Trump confirmed he'll invite #KimJongun to the #WhiteHouse. With a #MAGA hat or a #Trump2020 cap? Anyway made in #China...' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145224964376674304)

'#KimJongun totally running the show. #Trump's passive body language speaks volumes. No plans beyond shaking hands and inviting KJU to DC.' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145225767074222081)

'OMG. #Javanka in the room with #Trump & #KimJongun!' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145226661035536385)

'I love the smell of VX in the morning' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145226993253801984)

'What a Barnum. Even by #Trump standards. Journos not contained at all, positioned at the last moment, 3 heads of state thrown in the newsfeed frenzy...' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145231380755783681)

'#Trump #WhiteHouse's guestbook: #KimJongun's signature to join among others, #MBS', #alSisi's... Make Amerika Great Again
#ArtOfTheDealapidation' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145233888186269698)

'Well isn't #TuckerCarlson the Secretary of #Trump Defense on Fox?' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145234504170102784)

'Talks restart. #Nuclear proliferation doesn't stop. #KimJongun #winning #ArtOfTheDealapidation #TrumpKimSummit' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145249503072493569)

'And they're back' (20190630 - https://twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/1145252286001643522)

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